I told you I was a Dem.

I would like to take this moment to say a few things about a certain former Speaker of the House.

In what can only be seen as a statewide brain fart, South Carolina Republicans decided that Newt Gingrich was the most promising candidate to take on the Barack Obama campaign machine.

I'd like to say a heartfelt thank you to the voters of South Carolina. And Newt, best of luck to you. I hope your campaign of hypocrisy and bigotry takes you all the way to the Republican nomination. Then we can all revel in the bloodbath that will ensue when David Axelrod has his way with you.

In the meantime, though...

WARNING: Rant approaching.

Back in March 2011, Newt gave an interview to the Christian Broadcasting Network. In this interview, Newt blames his previous infidelities on how "passionately [he] felt about this country." This reiterates what he's said in the past, which is something along the lines of "I loved my country so much that I couldn't keep my hands off my female staffers."

In case anyone has forgotten, this is the same man who led the charge against President Clinton during the Lewinsky scandal. This man distracted the legislative and executive branches from the business of running a country with a sex scandal and a ridiculous impeachment process. Not saying the Clinton wasn't a dirtbag (he was), but come on. Should Newt really be the one talking about ineffective government?

My point here is that Newt is running for the nomination of the most morally smug, closed-minded, backwards party in the history of political parties. The party that believes it has a monopoly on American morality is really going to nominate this piece of garbage? Does anyone really believe that he only cheated on two wives with the two women who became his second and third wives? Of course not. It's only another display of Newt's blinding arrogance that he thinks another intern or staffer won't come out of the woodwork the second he gets the nomination.

So again, my sincere thanks to the Republican voters of South Carolina. There's nothing I'd like more than to see Newt at the top of the ticket in November.